Another rough night.

You have to stay strong in your decision to demand he gets help. I understand you two have a long history, but that does not give him the right to treat you and your children badly and to put you all in dangerous situations. I would suggest keeping your conversations to a minimum as I agree he is playing you. If he starts taking the steps necessary to make a change, then you can slowly re-establish communication, but until then you are just hurting yourself.

Wishing you better and brighter days ahead.

-CK

I'm so very glad you're seeing a counselor. You have lots of conflicting feelings and I have faith that hearing yourself talk about them will help you see the way you truly want to go. I had a relationship similar to the one you're describing in many ways. I used to think I was giving up on him too, but I now I see that completely different. Is it really giving up OR is it actually standing up for the expectation you have for yourself and your children?
If you set your standards, mean them, feel passionately about them, and someone else cannot meet them, where does that leave you? It leaves you in a great place where relationships are reciprocal and fulfilling. You could especially feel proud by being a great example to the children in your life so that they don't grow up thinking this type of relationship or behavior is normal/acceptable, right?

Just some food for thought.

My heart really goes out to you!.. Especially seeing that you do really care for your husband!..it's tough living with a person of any form of addiction!..your husband is more depressed probably due to how he feels about himself because of drinking!..I know as someone who has abused alcohol and it's awful for you!.. Has he not tried. An AA group?..I really wish things work out!.. At least you have faith and I pray to god for you!!..god bless!...

5oclock, stay strong & stand your ground, you do not want to be policing him the rest of your life, your gut instincts are spot on, so stay with it & dont let him try projecting what he created onto you.

Sounded, almost, like you were talking about my husband..........yet mine has more issues.

Focus on you & family.

Rochelle...he tried AA a long time ago..I believe after he got a Dui...I believe it was court ordered and not something he actually wanted to do. He stayed sober for a short time..but went straight back to his old ways. I will also say that he has experimented with other drugs. I believe he traded that addiction for alcohol. His excuse now...is that alcohol is the lesser of two evils. We all know that is not true.. It's just the way he justifies his addiction. I do deeply care for my husband. It's not easy to walk away from him. I hope the counseling helps me..at least.

A good predictor of future behavior IS past behavior & we know its not easy to walk away, yet you have been trying to assist/advise/guide/support him & the counseling will help guide you.

It's really hard!.. I'm not the greatest at giving advice!..you have tried and don't blame yourself for the way he is! .maybe he will see the light in time to come!!..its not fair for the kids to have to put up with his behaviour!!.. I grew up in a very abusive household etc!!.. Can go on!...be strong and start loving yourself and don't feel guilt!!..I will pray for you and may god bless you with the miracle you so much deserve!!.. "god bless"..xx