I'm worried that my best friend has become an alcoholic.

By kamikazeCait on Thu, 02-23-12, 14:01

Posted in Group:

Alcohol

This year, me and my best friend of eight years both went off to university. I'm a freshman, and she's a junior. She moved about two hours away from where I'm attending, and is in the theatre arts program. Anyway, while I was studying and mentally dying under everything that comes with being a college freshman, she was making lots of friends with the other theatre majors, which is fine and great. But then she started going to a lot of parties, and drinking, and behaving in a way she never had before (casual sex, smoking pot, stuff like that). I was kind of worried, but I didn't say anything because she seemed to really like her new life style and I thought she was just experiencing her new-found freedom out of our hometown to the fullest extent.

Well, she went to a lot less parties after being burned (rumors got spread, she was arrested for underage drinking, lost her RA job, etc) but she still drinks. Which wouldn't be a big deal, because I've drank a little in college too, but not like her. She drinks when she's upset to numb it, and so she doesn't have to think about it, and she drinks so she can sleep. And this happens two or three times a week, and she tells me about it. And I always urge her not to drink, to talk to me about it if she's upset and have a good cry, or drink tea and listen to some music to help her go to sleep, but she doesn't seem to think anything will help her like alcohol. She drinks alone all the time, and what makes it worse is that she's on meds for anxiety, and it's obvious that alcohol and anxiety meds don't mix and never should.

I'm really, really worried about her. She hasn't had any more of the dangerous behavior she did last semester, but the drinking is starting to reach a scary point. And I've tried talking to her about it, but she gets really defensive, and sometimes angry with me (which she normally never does- She's a very calm, gentle person) and tells me that I don't understand because I'm younger, or I don't have friends to drink with (which I don't- I haven't fared very well socially at univ and these comments really hurt, and are really, really unlike her to say). So I don't push it, but I'm so worried about her. What should I do?

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By Sarah6969 on Thu, 02-23-12, 14:36

Be there for her. Remember you can't make her stop. It's got to be her chioce. I'm an alcoholic and I wish I had gotten the help when I was younger. Maybe you should speak to her family. Pills and alcohol is so dangerous. Hope I helped. Your a good friend.

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By parrisht23 on Thu, 03-01-12, 21:42

I am in the same situation with my wife. She recently tried to commit suicide and turns to alcohol to help everything. She has an excuse for pills, for alcohol. etc...We have a 1yr old daughter in this as well. Every time I say something to her she says I am talking down to her, trying to control her. I just want to help. She recently had a psychological evaluation and they told her to stop taking val um and to stop drinking. She refuses to do either. She says she will do it however she wants to. HELP! I am drowning here and very worried about my marriage and the impact on my daughter.

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By Sunspots on Tue, 04-24-12, 04:14

Hey,
I get what you are going through and you sound totally desperate! It's so hard to love someone through these kind of things and it must be even harder having such a young baby involved. I would reccomend a 28 day rehab for her to begin with. This kind of addiction will only escalate and regardless of what she says, she does need your help.
You may be the only one who can really get her help which is really hard for you, but will be easier in the long run than ignoring it. Call some hospitals and ask their opinion. Not many people are experts on addicts, but those who have been working with them for years go get good at it. So do ex-addicts. I would take every opportunity to talk to these people that do understand. IT will only serve you well in the long run. This is a true test of your strength as a lover and if you take the right steps, it should only get easier. Take care and you can msg me when ever you like and I will get back to you as soon as I can.
Thinking of you,
Sunnyspots.

"There is nothing wrong nor right, but thinking makes it so" - Shakespeare, (Hamlet)

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