New to this and scared

Just over 2 months ago I was forced to leave a bad situation. I know it's for the best yet I am so scared of being on my own. My husband and I have been married for 11 years and together for 14. We have two daughters ages 13 and 5. When we met we we both liked to drink so it wasn't something I wasn't aware of with him. However as soon as I found out I was pregnant with our oldest daughter I quit. I was raised in a house full of alcohol abuse and I never wanted to push that on a child of mine. My husband always drank but over the last few years got really bad. He lost his last job due to his drinking and seemed to give up after that, happy to live on the states dime. I would work come home to a filthy house and rarely dinner. Towards the end he said he was depressed and had anxiety which caused him to sleep all day, never willing to admit it could be due to his drinking all night. He would be awake when I left for work but what happened while I was gone, who knows. We were being evicted and he still didnt wake up, just made him worse. The second to last day I was living with him, 2 days before our eviction date, I found out he literally slept all day leaving our 5 year old to fend for herself. The day we had to be out of our home, he had another 'attack' and was taken away by ambulance, leaving me with an almost entirely unpacked house and a too small truck to move it in while I had to go to work. I certainly couldn't afford to lose my job. My daughter told a family member right after I left for work what was going on and she called me and said 'we're coming, we're packing you up and you're staying with us'

I was scared but I had no choice. By the time I got out of work it was all almost done. I knew I would never have had the strength to leave on my own, being forced into it was a blessing. He bounced between a couple houses and swore he would stay sober without help. Of course we all know where this leads. A few days ago he spent the weekend in a hotel drunk like I had never heard him. Alternating between telling me he loves me, telling me he hates me , pleading with me to go see him and telling me I ruined his life.

Our new living situation has been an adjustment but I know it's healthier for my kids. We live in a household with 2 great parents and 2 young children. My children finally live in a somewhat stable home environment even if at times it is a little chaotic. My oldest has no seen her dad in over a week and my youngest saw him for about 30 minutes a week ago tomorrow. Since his binge, I have not allowed either of them to talk to him. I'm tired of him playing with their emotions. But I see my little one missing daddy and clinging to me for dear life. My oldest is used to his lies and empty promises and I know she is angry with him and hurting. I worry about him and I know he is killing himself. I spent so many years babysitting him that I closed myself off from the world around me. Now he is just being as hateful as he can be trying to hurt me and he is but mainly he is hurting our children. I have no idea how to deal with my little ones anxiety about being away from me or my oldest daughters constant disappointment in him. I want them to love their dad, but the man he is now, is not the Daddy they once had. He used to be a fantastic father, taking them everywhere with him. He has always been a little selfish, meaning he would take them places if he liked it, but would never take them someplace just because they wanted to go. But overall he was a good dad. Any advice on how to handle the way my kids are feeling? I know I feel resentment to this day about how I was raised and never want my kids to think I did them wrong.